Oh yay I'm 22 now.
Here's hoping that I would be happier in the year ahead.

Maybe I find the beauty in melancholy and have a deep-seated wish to NOT be happy so I can complain all day about the first world problems I have.

Alternatively, maybe I should have eaten more Happy Meals when I was younger instead of Extra Value Meals. The lack of Happy Meals may have had a profound effect in shaping my cynicism towards life.

Actually I don't know what will truly make me happy, but I really wanna see the world.
Especially Europe because I am so enamoured by it and I can just die there after visiting it.
I have no love for this home country of mine, for reasons unexplained.

Anyway, when I do die, please don't grieve and remember me in a funny way.
I would like my ashes to be scattered somewhere, and my spirit running free.

Not that I'm suicidal, but I don't feel any particular attachment to reality.
Much happier in my fantasy worlds.

Have I mentioned how I hate my facial hair that just spurts out in days?
Totally hate shaving and some days I just wish I can grow a glorious beard, but I doubt I can pull it off.

Very glad with my results except the sore spot that is ST1232. In a twist of fate I got an A- for my most confident subject and A+ for my electives which I weren't confident at all about.

CM1161 - A+
CM1191 - A-
EC1301 - A+
GEM 1536 - A+
PC1322 - A
ST1232 - A-

SAP: 4.83

As expected, my CAP will only fall from here, because how high can it go?
Doesn't help that the A+ are for mere bragging rights.

In other news, I swear P6 kids these days have the weirdest of questions.
This girl at the tuition centre asked whether testicle size was inherited during the lesson on heredity. I wonder what it takes for your mind to wander over there...

Ugh, no motivation to set questions for now.
My hedonistic lifestyle is proving to be too comfortable.
此间乐，不思蜀。

There's a weird recurring ache/strain on the back of my neck, which I suspect is due to the cluster of pimples there. That aside, though I should be jubilant that my 3rd niece is going to come out any moment, there is still that nagging fear of less than spectacular grades. I hope I can come into acceptance with whatever is to arrive in the matter of 10 hours.

Looks like it's a sleepless night.

Just realised setting PSLE papers isn't as easy as it seems when you're utterly unmotivated. I have the tendency to just hop onto playing games.

I've been suddenly washed over with a wave of moroseness such that I don't feel like stepping out of the house. Anyway, I am of the opinion that most people are afflicted with mental illnesses but it is just a mere matter of degree. This is especially worse for me since I have the tendency to think too much; easily lapsing into depressive moods. How I wish I was more simple. 

I must admit that my life has been very smooth-sailing and I have no reason to feel the emotions I'm feeling, but I guess this is the curse of depression. You can't ask me to stop feeling depressed or have more resistance; it doesn't work that way. I know it's all in my over-active mind and my inner demons are mere figments of imagination. They are impossible to be completely vanquished and I just have to come to accept them as a natural part of life. 

Trouble is indeed a friend.

Lenka is wise. 

Ugh, this stupid last traumatising paper desecrated my beautiful finale to my 1st year in NUS.
I shall once again predict my grades here and see what the results are on 2nd June.

CM1161 - Principles of Chemical Processes
Predicted Grade: B+

Though my results for the midterms were exceptional, but this last paper just dealt a final blow to my confidence. Shall not comment any further on how I find this module. I will probably absorb more if it wasn't at 8 am.

CM1191 - Experiments in Chemistry I
Predicted Grade: B+

The 6-hour lab sessions were long, dreary and arduous. Some labs were kind of fun because I felt like I was synthesising drugs, but 6 hours is too much. This makes me ponder whether I am suitable to work in a lab, since I hated this so much.

PC1322 Understanding the Universe
Predicted Grade: B+

Fun module with a very steep bell curve with no thanks to the easy CAs. Hope my project grade turns out to be good, because my whole group almost got tanned because of observing sunspots.

GEM1536 Darwin and Evolution
Predicted Grade: A-

Again, exceptional CA but the finals made me less than confident. Options for the finals were dubious and I feel like smacking myself for not trusting my first instincts. Anyway, interesting module with again a steep bell curve. Can modules be fun and more challenging at the same time?

ST1232 Statistics for Life Sciences
Predicted Grade: A

This was my most enjoyable core module even though the material was boring as crap. Very thankful for having an awesome and entertaining lecturer. Think I did well for the finals, since I think I saw through all the tricks.

EC1301 Principles of Economics
Predicted Grade: B+

Haiz, seems like I've been plagued by relatively poor performances for finals. Also less than confident for this paper since I couldn't get any of the calculation questions right initially. Thankfully, I got them right while checking.

Predicted SAP: 4.25 / 5

Alright, I shall go conquer the world as Poland.