The news of my parents' ailing health is disconcerting yet expected with time and age.

How I wish I could shorten my life to let them lead one that is illness-free in their graying years; I don't really have high hopes for myself with the lack of ambition and my less than optimistic outlook on life. Sort of figured that my life doesn't need to be that long, after all, given my dissatisfaction with it and the fact that my dreams are woefully unrealistic on this tropical island which champions pragmatism. Yay to being a cog in the machine even though I don't want to.

Anyway, I can't cope with major losses well, and I shudder at the thought of it. I really wonder how I would react, probably it would shatter my sanity and send me into a self-destructive rampage. That's my best guess given my emotionally volatile character.

 Paranoia acting up again, it seems.